Leadership – Neosporin style

Posted on September 1, 2017 by Tammy Johnson

For many years, I have shared with the teams I’ve had the honor of serving with that 90% of what I know today is due to learning the hard way. I have tried to equate “trying and failing” as a necessary part of developing yourself with the knowledge that you keep a virtual tube of Neosporin handy to put on your bruised and sometimes bloody knees when you do fall down. Most of the times, these lessons in life (and leadership) were the ones that stuck the longest and had the most impact on me as I encountered similar challenges later in life. While some of my family members are a bit more private about the experiences in their life and rarely share specific examples of “fails” or “lessons learned” I am the exact opposite and have never had any issues with putting everything out there even when those things may not necessarily reflect very positively on me or my decision-making capabilities at the time. My very wise Grandfather, mentioned in several of my earlier posts, used to say “not saying it out loud doesn’t make it not so” which I always thought was a great way to approach things from an accountability perspective.

I remember early in my career, one of the owners of the hotel company I worked for attended a seminar where a speaker by the name of Michael Leboeuf was presenting on a book he had written “How to Win Customers and Keep Them for Life”. I don’t know what compelled our owner to secure extra copies of the book and bring them back to us but I can remember him giving me that book and the emotions that I experienced when I believed that he thought I was worth investing in and recognized me as an up and coming leader. That gesture by somebody who was a seasoned and successful business person sent a deep and resounding message of expressed confidence to me that I will never forget. That one book began a waterfall of other books over the past 30 years and I took a valuable lesson from that very first gift I received so long ago. I have purchased many books over my lifetime and can humbly share that I have given away many more than I’ve ever kept for myself. Knowledge is not intended to be stored away or kept on a shelf. It is meant to be shared, to be expressed in such a way that others can learn from it. Even if the story is kind of icky or doesn’t always start off well for whoever is telling it. And I can assure everyone that the majority of my stories and shared experiences had a place where I “fell down”, did things the wrong way and desperately needed that tube of Neosporin to put on my bloody knees. Not some of my prouder moments, for sure, but they are the truth and not sharing those stories doesn’t mean they never happened. They are more of a way to connect with other individuals I’ve had the opportunity to meet and work with along the way. A common thread to help let them know that nobody’s perfect, we all have things in our background or in our lives that aren’t the most positive to share. That we all fall down. But hopefully, that imperfection is an area of common ground that I can honestly say has created opportunities for me to establish relationships with people that have lasted my lifetime.

Several years ago, my sister Tina, put me on to a series of Leadership Podcasts by Andy Stanley of North Point Community Church out of Atlanta. I can remember listening to them on my phone and thinking “where were these 20 years ago?” I devoured every single podcast, listened to them over and over, and shared many of them with the teams at work. In 2013, Andy brought a young leader on as a guest to a couple of the podcasts by the name of Clay Scroggins. The reason Andy had invited Clay to join him was due to a principle or a series of belief that Clay had lived out as a part of serving on Andy’s team. The title of the 2-part podcast series was “How to Lead When You’re Not in Charge”. It was AMAZING! Clay talked about leading yourself first before you could expect to be positioned for leadership. He said that we should all focus on creating our own “oasis of excellence”. To ask ourselves “how should I lead with the opportunity I have?” He also said that “healthy leaders are continually developing and maturing. They have an internal motivation to get better.” And I thought, “Yes They Do!” I listened to those podcasts multiple times over the past few years and was thrilled when they did a refresh on that topic a couple months ago AND announced that Clay had written a book on that very same material. The release of “How to Lead When You’re Not in Charge” by Clay Scroggins was scheduled for August 22nd and I couldn’t wait! When I saw that they were asking for anybody interested in helping to get the word out about the book, I put my name in the hat immediately. Talk about getting behind something you deeply believe in…sign me up! I received an advanced copy of the book which I devoured immediately and pre-ordered several copies to share with my team at work. This book is one of the SINGLE most influential tools in growing and maturing Leaders for your business or organization. Clay’s book speaks to personal accountability, a hunger for always learning and growing, servant leadership, how to be faithful with what we’ve been given. The material presented in the book will resonate with both the young and the seasoned leader. His communication and writing-style is an easy read and the authenticity with which he conveys experiences from his own life was not only heart-warming but speaks to leadership principles that have rarely been communicated in such a straight-forward way.

If you have an opportunity to secure a copy of Clay’s book, buy more than one. You are bound to want to share it with other people in your life. I can speak from experience when I say that it will be one of the best gifts you will ever give. To show people you are connected to that you are also still learning and growing, that you have confidence in them as a leader, that they are worth investing in. Thank you, Tom Schaefer, for giving me my very first book. I will never forget it. Thank you, Andy Stanley, for making Leadership a part of your ministry. And most of all, thank you, Clay Scroggins, for stepping out there and writing what I know will be a Leadership Book for all time. A must read. A book with life-altering principles for ALL leaders.

Stephanie Johnson IS Solution Focused

Posted on October 6, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

I referenced a site about a year ago that I ran across which really resonated with me. It belongs to Stephanie Johnson and can be found at SolutionFocusedCounselling.com. Below is an excerpt from some of her information and I have taken the liberty of adding a period or numbering the list due to some formatting issues on my end when I copied and pasted it. (Stephanie, I hope you will forgive me!) It is also very meaningful to me that Stephanie is a Believer and follows some fundamental teachings laid out by the guidance provided by our Heavenly Father. From Stephanie’s book:

Basic assumptions about people and problems

The following are some of the assumptions and principles of solution focused framework which was influenced by Milton Erickson and the MRI team.

1. People operate out of their internal maps and not out of sensory experience.

2. People make the best choice for themselves at any given moment.

3. The explanation, theory, or metaphor used to relate facts about a person is not the person.

4. Respect all messages from the client.

5. Teach choice; never attempt to take choice away.

6. The resources the client needs lie within his or her own personal history.

7. Meet the client at his or her model of the world.

8. The person with the most flexibility or choice will be the controlling element in the system.

9. A person can’t not communicate.

10. If it’s hard work, reduce it down.

11. Outcomes are determined at the psychological level. (Lankton and Lankton, 1983)

12. Do not need to know the cause of the problem in order to find solutions. (Love This!)

13. Client is the expert in their own life.

14. People become problem saturated and lose their problem solving abilities.

15. People have strengths and resources within themselves to find solutions.

16. We do not need to go back to the past in order to influence the future.

17. The problem is the problem, the person is not the problem.

18. Change is inevitable. Small change leads to larger change.

19. Problems continue when you apply the wrong solution.

20. People in general are doing the best that they can.

21. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it doesn’t work, try something different.

22. Once you know what works, do more of it, (Cade, 2007)

The above are the assumptions about people and problems. In some respects it at first appears a simple formula, however the art in solution focused is the timing of interventions and techniques such as the miracle question, and for the counsellor not to get caught up in the problem talk, but move the conversation towards solution focused talk. I don’t know about you, but when I came across these principles it was very liberating as a counsellor to feel that I am not the expert in the client’s life, but a bystander and a facilitator. I found this exciting.

The client is the expert in their own life and we facilitate the process. Solution focused is at the opposite spectrum to psychoanalysis. Solution focused believes that you do not need to go back to childhood or hunt for the root cause of the problem in order to facilitate change. For some clients this is reassuring. Some clients find solution focused to be empowering and hopeful.

In 15 years of experiencing solution focused talk, the word HOPE comes to mind. Having said that solution focused does not have to go back to childhood to find the root cause of this problem is true, however as solution focused is client directed, if the client feels that it is necessary then the therapist will go there. However if the client is looking for analysis and treatment, then they have the wrong therapist.

In my practice I start where the client is at. I used whatever is useful to the client to facilitate change, as this is what it is all about, CHANGE.

What to know more? See Stephanie Johnson’s E-book, available here on line at Solution focused counselling.com, called Solution focused counselling…Keeping it Real, The art of helpful conversations. Only $14.99 Aud.

References:

Cade, B. W. (2007) Springs, Streams and Tributaries: A History of The Brief, Solution-focused Approach. In F. N. Thomas & T. Nelson (Eds) Clinical Applications of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. New York: The Haworth Press.

Lankton, S. and Lankton, C. (1983) The Answer Within: A Clinical Framework of Ericksonian Hypnotherapy. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Be the Revolution!

Posted on September 29, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

While I definitely didn’t intend for my blog to be (always) gushing about James River Assembly, the church I attend in Ozark, Missouri, I can also share that sometimes you just know when certain things are inserted into your life and this church continues to breathe influence into my life that couldn’t be more well timed. We just finished the 9th annual Designed For Life Women’s Conference and it was AMAZING! We heard from Charlotte Gambill who leads Life Church in England, John & Helen Burns, who started Victory Christian Centre (now known as Relate Church in Surrey, British Columbia, Canada), Nancy Alcorn of Mercy Ministries, Donna Crouch of Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia, Marilyn Skinner of Watoto Church in Kampala, Uganda in Africa and Debbie Lindell of James River Women, a ministry under the umbrella of James River Assembly.

Every single message contained life-giving words….God-inspired truths that resonated across the hearts of the 5,500 women who were there. We heard:

That God is looking for movement through us.
You have to choose your position in life AND your disposition in life.
That the best part of life is who you get to do it with.
That some of the greatest pain in the world stems from “Dad” issues. That every child is born connected to Mom but their self-identity and strength comes from their Dad.
That everything we need to live a full and abundant life is already in us in seed form. It takes the Holy Spirit to water and fertilize each individual seed to help us have a life that flourishes that can then feed others.
If our children had to live on the power of our words, would they be able to? A person’s childhood is the reference point of their life. We must take responsibility for the atmosphere in our homes.
Time is the currency of life. (LOVE this one!)
Relationships should be based on commitment not convenience.
Pressure has a way of revealing exactly who and what we are made of.

I was especially excited about Project 12, which is an initiative to help encourage and inspire us to make a difference in the lives of others around us. We have been talking at work alot about this same type of focus for helping people around us and this will help us take it to the next level. The fundamental belief is that if we Impact ONE person in our community we will make a difference in the WORLD. I love the following quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson….

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882); Philosopher, Poet, Author, Essayist

It goes without saying that I simply can’t wait for next year’s DFL Conference which is being held at JQH Arena in Springfield, Missouri. Debbie’s goal is to have 10,000 girls there and given the revolutionary hearts that her conference sparked this year, I would guess that she will hit that mark!

Ephesians 3:20-21

²⁰Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Critical Thinker

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

Viewing the world through the eyes of our children takes a very focused approach. My entire life I have been teased about being gullible which I easily translated into “open minded”. I have been told I was overly optimistic which I easily translated into “openly optimistic”. I have been chastised for being naive which I easily translated into “keeping a fresh perspective”. While I have benefited from hundreds of life experiences, all which have hopefully made me a little more wise, I can honestly say that I hope I never lose the ability to be an open minded, optimistic person who works hard at keeping my perspective fresh.

Recently, I picked up Jacob, our 11 year old, from school and on the way home we had his favorite radio station playing. He loves music and we love that he loves music. Normally on the way to and from school, he is allowed to be the car DJ. When a song came on from Justin Timberlake’s new album, Jacob chimed in that some of the kids at school were saying bad things about him up to and including that he was “gay”. I asked him why they would say that and he said because his voice is so high. I told Jacob that JT has always been a tremendous performer and is extremely talented and that the kids at school just didn’t understand that some people are just gifted with different ranges of voices when they sing. I told him that he has been wildly successful and always seemed to me to have his life pretty well put together. I told him that I thought he had just married his girlfriend of 4-5 years, Jessica Biel, and that she was beautiful and talented as well. I promised that I would show him a picture of their wedding day. None of that is to say that I know anything at all about Justin Timberlake’s personal life or have insight into his life choices. It just rubbed me wrong that people, even children, would be so quick to pass judgment on someone that they knew literally nothing about.

It was all too easy for me to wonder what in the world those kids were thinking in saying those type of things when it occurred to me that they had to have heard it somewhere. Children are the great “repeaters” and we learn our behaviors from those we watch. It made me sad. I wondered if any of the children at school have that same voice with a beautifully high range when they sing and if the other kids are unkind toward them causing them to never truly pursue what might be a JT inspired career? I can’t speak for anyone else’s children but I can certainly try and have influence over ours. As adults, do we really wonder where our children pick up being critically-minded? Where every thought is geared towards tearing people down, finding fault or judging them based on some stereotyped image?

That reminded me of a video that I saw during a presentation given by Chester Elton, author of The Carrot Principle, Orange Revolution, and All In among a couple others that I think have come out. It was the Battle at Kruger and you really have to watch the video to fully appreciate the points that Chester Elton made during his discussion. It is a riveting, true story about a herd of buffalo, a pride of lions and one really big crocodile all coming together on the shores of a waterhole located in Kruger National Park, South Africa. The parable is whether, in life, we choose to be a lion or a crocodile whose only purpose is to prey on others, constantly dragging them down or to be a tourist on the sideline and simply watch or to be a buffalo who come together in the herd in support of one another and run to the rescue of one less traveled, less experienced young buffalo. It is 8 minutes of a life-long story that you simply can’t stop watching until the very end.

Our role as believers should be to stand up for the less fortunate, even when they don’t always look like us, sound like us or believe in the same things we do. It’s easy to be nice when things are “calm at the watering hole”. Do we strive to be equally nice and supportive to those around us when things aren’t looking so good on the banks of where we get a drink and our thirst is high? Do we become less diligent with regard to seeing others as Jesus sees us….with unconditional love and an unending forgiveness for things that we haven’t even done yet? Or do we immediately jump in to tarnish others’ perspectives, making them think and believe the worst, standing on the shoulders of others to make ourselves seem bigger and better in comparison? We all struggle with those feelings, wanting that hint of superiority, seeking dominance, and appearing all-wise. And I think we all know, none of those feelings are from God.

I recently shared with my husband how fortunate my sister and I were to have our Grandfather in our lives when we were growing up. I told Steve that when I was with my Grandfather, he always made me feel like I was amazing. So I tried with everything I was to be amazing. He had a way of helping you see things with regard to possibilities instead of hindrances. A knack of asking you to stretch yourself and put yourself in your “neighbor’s shoes” and giving them the benefit of the doubt. I told Ashley just the other day when we were talking about somebody that she had encountered that was not very pleasant to interract with that she had no idea what that person was dealing with that day. Maybe she just lost her child….or found out she had cancer…..or who’s husband was abusive. We have no idea what is going on in other people’s lives. We are tasked with being a place of encouragement for those we come in contact with, even when they are in over their heads, come from a different walk of life than what we are familiar with, or sometimes aren’t deserving in our opinion.

You can oftentimes tell when your quiet, kind words find their way in to the heart of your child. You can see the knowledge soak into them and settle softly in their heart. You can see the truth become a small gift that they store safely away. And you know down to your depths that when it really matters, they will bring it back out to share with some one else. Those are the moments that inspired me in the first place to start this blog. Patient and Kind…just like the Lord and my Savior has always been to me.

My Prayer today

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

My Heavenly Father,

Help me recognize and be thankful for the little things. Thank you for every detail of my life – all of them combined is what brought me to this place with you by my side.

Thank you for sending your Son to die for me. Thank you for wanting to be with me. The longing that I had for children and family, to know them, watch them grow, be involved in their lives and to see them be AMAZING must be only a fraction of what you want for me. I am humbled by that.

I continue to see that what the enemy intended for evil in my life you turned into good. You have always been there to take care of me, even when I was unaware.

Help me to be a reflection of your grace and goodness. Help me to understand that sometimes what I think is all about me is more about breathing influence into the lives of others – please don’t let me miss those opportunities.

I have prayed for wisdom and health my entire life, to have discernment and to be what you intended me to be. Your ever-loving, gracious hand has been holding mine for as long as I can remember. I am thankful to have been born into a time and place where I can openly express my love and praise for you.

I am thankful for your grace and mercy, for providing me a family who I fiercely love and who loves me in return. I am thankful for the doors of my life that you continue to open. May the most recent one be an avenue for my sister and I to quietly help administer a healing in our family that only you are capable of.

All of this I ask in your holy name,

Amen

Family Matters

Posted on January 6, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

There is nothing more sobering about the condition of your family life than to travel out of your comfort zone for a couple of weeks and take some time to hold everything at arms length for a bit. Reflecting on where a word of encouragement could have been spoken or when a sarcastic remark could have been swallowed has a way of keeping us focused. As I watch our family function as a unit, we migrate through a variety of situations all of us bringing very different temperaments to the table. And it is commonly those traits that we find most irritating about each other that are so apparent in ourselves. How ironic. Almost makes me laugh if it wasn’t so sad. I have found as I’ve gotten older that one of my primary desires is for my family to establish that “patient and kind” attitude towards one another. To be encouraging rather than competitive. To be protective of one another rather than judgmental. I made the statement recently that when I hear one of them being critical to another, it hurts my spirit. I have no idea if that makes sense to anybody but me, however, that is how it feels. As each of them are striking out on their own path, it is very interesting to watch them process life. We are returning from a family vacation to one of the U.S. Virgin Islands (before you judge let me mention that we have probably taken 4 family vacations together ever and our oldest child is 21, none of which have ever been off the continental United States). Experiencing the thrill of anticipation before we left, the eagerness to finally arrive, the wonder on their faces as they take everything in…..those are the priceless moments. It’s like Christmas – at a certain age when you’re growing up it loses some of its magic. And then you have children and its all back as you experience it thru their eyes again. It’s rejuvenating to the soul.

We have done many things together on our trip such as take a ferry to one of the other islands and explore a landscape that is breathtaking. And snorkel off a beach where just a half hour later an island diver captures a venomous lionfish and throws it on shore for all to see. More about that later. And today the kids are out with a diving instructor named Micky to receive the final instruction to become certified scuba divers. Emotions ranging from excitement to nervousness were very much in play….and the kids were excited too. :). And in the evening as we’re winding down we have played Triominos (love that game!) and LIFE which is hilarious. Especially when you see our oldest be the big risk-taker and our daughter being very conservative. In real life they are opposite of that for the most part. And then our youngest….well he’s just a delight all the way around. We visited Coral World yesterday (which was so fun) and he tripped and fell hard over some rocks and landed on his shins and palms and it broke my heart to see how hard he tried to be brave. Once we got him out of viewing range of everyone, he finally cried and allowed me to put some Neosporin on there and to wipe the cuts off with a tissue. He was so worried about how it all appeared and didn’t want a fuss made. He’s 11 so I fussed over him when nobody was looking. Yep, good ole Mom had a package of clean tissues and a travel-size Neosporin spritzer in my purse. Just in case someone crashed and burned at Coral World. As he slips his hand into mine and tells me “thanks for always taking care of me, Mom” I can tell you that every second of time that went into planning this trip together as a family has been worth it.

When we arrived at Red Hook Dive Center this morning to see the kids off for their dive certification, Jacob was carrying Ashley’s dive bag, Jamie had Jacob’s stuff slung over one shoulder and the dive instructor had to ask Ashley to let Jacob get his own dive gear together because she was going to do it for him. So, as different as each of them are, they are united by a bond that will preempt every other obstacle waiting for them in the years ahead. They are and will forever be family.

Living Space

Posted on December 3, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

One of the more interesting books that I have read over the years is C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters and talk about thought provoking (and driving you a little crazy all at the same time)! It really helps demonstrate how easily we are manipulated through the course of our regular daily routines and how much more effort we should be putting on “keeping the main thing the main thing” which is to love God with all our heart and ask him on a regular basis to keep the distractions at bay. Here is a link to check out just a few quotes from this timeless book.

Pastor John Lindell from James River Assembly recently used the following quote in one of his messages and I thought it was awesome. It appears this particular story is a very popular quote from Mr. Lewis’ writings as when I looked for it on the internet, it was all over the place.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I often talk about how uncomfortable it is when we challenge ourselves to be open to change. And they always say that you remember the really good times in your life….and the very bad. I also have talked about how most life lessons I had to learn the hard way. I think when we’re young we only see life through our own lense and the perspective is just that, it’s only our perspective. I remember many, many times that I was on the receiving end of a really tough life lesson. One that I had to swallow every ounce of pride I had and wade through it….or my option was to turn around and go back the other way because I gave up. And I can tell you, I didn’t turn around very often.

I shared the story the other day about a time a few years ago when I was serving as a General Manager at a hotel and had a local college student ask if they could do an interview with me to get my opinion on the one characteristic that I felt was most important in being a leader. I told them that I thought the one trait that truly held the key to success was humility. I shared several examples of why I believed that to be so, what I didn’t have time to convey to them was that I felt that way because I had lived it first hand. I told them that humility means being coachable, being willing to learn. Humility helps keep your mind and spirit eager, open to hearing new and different things primarily because people will share more of their view of the world if they know you are open to receive that. How many people in leadership roles have we all known who are so closed off from others around them that their management style is one-sided, doesn’t really grow in depth over time and almost feels abusive? I have worked for several of those during the course of my career. And took an oath that I never wanted that to be me. That is not saying that I am not opinionated or passionate about the things I believe in. It is to say that I try very hard to appreciate everyone’s perspective knowing at the end of the day that I will filter through all that and come to the best conclusion I can using all the information at hand.

If God shows up and wants to knock down some walls to help my “living space” look more like a palace then I had better be sure to be ready and open to receive that.

Grandpa only said things one time

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

I know I’ve mentioned before that my Grandfather was a very wise man. I was talking once with my Uncle Roger about them spending time together and what a great listener Grandpa was. We were both reminiscing and then laughed together because sometimes it was what Grandpa DIDN’T say that made you think the most about something. I took every opportunity to pour my gullible young heart out to him always looking for him to help me make sense of all the tumultuous thoughts that plague an adolescent perspective. And I can’t remember him ever telling me what exactly to do. What I do remember is him always asking the simplest questions which were followed up by “what do you think you should do” and then he would help me work through that thought process. Many times what I thought should be the solution was really just a way for me to talk through something that had no foothold in anything remotely resembling patient and kind. My Grandpa had a way of drawing those things out of you without you even realizing what he was up to.

I can remember that feeling of anxiety when I had something very important to tell him…it was burning a hole in my heart but I had learned to hold onto that until the right moment presented itself. I wanted his full attention and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would always grant me that. It’s funny because the thought never crossed my mind whether he would make time for me or be willing to listen to what was on my heart and mind. I just always knew he would be there.

I also find it interesting that I had a much different relationship with our Grandmother. I can remember some of the conversations with her and how hard I think she tried to understand where Tina and I were coming from. In hindsight I think she struggled to keep an open mind about things and I don’t know if this stemmed from her own upbringing, losing a daughter (our mom) or maybe simply a generation gap between us although I never felt that way about our Grandfather. What I do know is that where Grandma would jump in the middle of your situation and tell you exactly what she thought you should do and you knew it would go badly if you didn’t choose that route, Grandpa was the exact opposite. I don’t know that I ever heard “I told you so” come out of his mouth. I did hear him say “so how did that feel” once or twice but it always felt like there was love and concern behind that….like he didn’t want us to forget a certain feeling because it just might help us make better decisions going forward.

My husband has often asked me over our life together (26 years in January – 23 of those married) if I have anything in my past I would change. While hindsight is definitely full of all kinds of insight, I always tell him that I wish I had handled a few things differently but wouldn’t necessarily change them. I honestly feel that if I had changed even one thing, I may not be where I’m at today and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. I think I’ve watched too many movies having to do with a person being given a chance to go back and relive or redo their past and they always regret that it changes where they are in the future (Mr. Destiny with Jim Belushi for example). My Grandfather always told us that each of us should try and make the best decisions we can at the time using the information we have. While it is up to us to be the best gatherers of information we can, he also told us stories of people who’s lives were filled with regret and second-guessing every area of their life until they were consumed with it. Life held no other purpose for them except to reflect on all the mistakes that had been made along the way. Out of all the things I learned from him, that was one of the life lessons I really took to heart. I do not want that to be me.

So, when I find myself wanting to repeat things over and over to our children hoping that maybe if I say it differently (or louder) than I did before it will increase the chance they will hear me this time, I remember my Grandfather’s wisdom of dropping those simple words of thought-provoking questions and remain quiet trusting that we have pretty smart kids who will probably end up figuring things out on their own kind of like we did.

Where I came from

Posted on October 20, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

Over the years, I have witnessed varying degrees of people who are phenomenally talented and have SO much potential who end up getting sidetracked one way or another from their intended purpose in life. Many times this is a result of personal circumstances (life just won’t give them a break) or sometimes it is the result of ego or a slanted perspective getting in the way. Have you ever met that person who viewed life through a lense that was “what’s in it for me?” Me too.

I hope nobody misunderstands….we all struggle with ego. We want to make a difference, we want to be held in high regard, we want to be noticed. I’m particularly talking about those times when we purposely position ourselves above those around us. In addition to trying to determine the best way for us to be recognized, we make comments or do things that reflect badly on those around us so that we appear greater or better in comparison. We’ve all done it….me too.

One thing I’ve always been since I was very little was a good observer. Just ask my sister. I told her that I often avoided some of life’s misguided missteps simply by sitting back and watching her navigate things first. Tina, I watched way closer than you ever wanted but learned way more than you could have ever hoped for. You’re my hero. :^)

I started working before child labor laws really took effect, somewhere around the age of 11, and my first job was working at a small motel where I cleaned rooms for $3.35 per hour. My personal goal each summer was to put $1,000 in my savings account and whatever was left over was mine to spend. I paid $3.00 per day for the opportunity to carpool with my Grandmother and some of her friends who also worked in the same vicinity I did and I don’t remember Grandma ever letting me slide by not paying my fair share. And I was so thankful to have the opportunity to ride along and work and earn my own money that I don’t remember ever grumbling about that or thinking that I was entitled to that ride. Even when my Grandmother drove.

The pride that I took in my job ran pretty deep. Tina and I both have our Grandparents to thank for that…they were both hard workers and humble about what they had. And we didn’t have overly much. We started out cleaning rooms and we went to work every day during the summer and vowed to do the best job we could on each day. Oh sure, we entertained ourselves along the way to make the day go faster (those stories I’ll save for another day) but our focus was to produce the cleanest rooms we possibly could for the paying guests of the place where we worked. When we dipped ice cream for the summer, we served lots of customers, tried to never leave sidework for the next shift and worked hard at doing it with a smile. That was much easier for Tina than me. I was always the more direct, less tactful side of the equation if things hit me wrong. I know, I know….hard to believe.

I can remember watching history of the Bible shows that featured individuals like David slaying Goliath and Moses leading the people out of Egypt and Sampson being enamored with Delilah. I can also remember praying and wishing my entire life for God to give me wisdom (like he did with Solomon) and health rather than anything else. Yes, anything else. I asked to be content if I had enough money to pay the bills and to be patient if that was ever a struggle somewhere along the way. I didn’t need lots of money or things, my one and only desire was that God would not ever allow me to forget where I came from. In my whispered prayers to him, I have always asked for discernment and to allow me to have more time with my husband and children than what my mother did with Tina and me. Probably not a fair request but it didn’t stop me from making it. That struck the balance between being bold as I approached the throne and attempting to leave it up to God to determine what was best for me and those around me. And I still ask for that today.

As I’ve gotten older and have been so blessed along the way I continue to ask God to please not ever let me forget where I came from. Don’t let me ever forget the satisfied feeling I always had when I sat on our sofa by our grandfather. He had a way of projecting contentment, I don’t know how he did that exactly but I was always at peace when I was with him. I don’t want to ever forget the feeling I had when I fully realized just how much our Grandparents had given up in their lives to raise Tina and I. I have never forgotten that humbling feeling you get on your first day at a new job or the amazing feeling of knowing I had worked hard and received that very first paycheck. I remember the painful lessons of saying things out of hurt and anger and knowing I could never get those words back. Those words changed some of those relationships for the rest of my life. I also remember the feeling of doing small acts of unexpected kindness for someone and the warmth that generated for my soul. I love watching someone’s reaction when they know they have done something to hurt you and you respond by being kind. Or when the Holy Spirit provides wise feedback for you to convey to your children (because you’re about ready to run screaming from the room). The look of understanding and acceptance on their faces when they realize that your love really is unconditional and that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are amazing and that your life experiences are their’s to learn from.

I don’t ever want to forget where I came from. My sister shared a video with me by Louie Giglio – Indescribable and it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen or heard. If you haven’t heard Louie Giglio’s series, you need to watch them as soon as possible. Whether you are a believer in God or not, the science behind his messages is mind-blowing. I was spending the afternoon with Donna, my hairdresser at Main Street Salon, and she was sharing that Louie had a second video called How Great is Our God and I watched that too! I didn’t think I could be more blown away than what I was on Indescribable but I was wrong. I’m not going to give away the points in there that are irrefutable and the commonalities that, if you’re not a believer, will make you question what took you so long to hear this. I actually went and bought his entire video series and can’t wait to watch the whole thing. He is a science-geek and the way he frames up the information from a scientific perspective helps close that gap between feeling like we have to choose between believing that God is our creator and that life was created from a big bang that didn’t somehow involve divine intervention.

I don’t ever want to forget that I belong to God. I don’t want to ever take my eye off the fact that he has me here for a purpose, that I was created to serve him and to help others to get to know him. That I will remain focused on the things that have eternal meaning and not so much on the rest of the “stuff”. That God will continue to keep his steady hand on me and remind me daily to be Patient and Kind.

Can you say WOW???

Posted on October 14, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

How do you describe a season in your life when everything that is being placed before you has a common theme? How do you explain it when it seems like you have some type of intuitive wisdom being breathed into your spiritual ear? I can tell you that anything insightful, even remotely wise or forward-thinking has way less to do with my life experiences and more to do with me constantly asking God to keep me focused on the things that have eternal meaning. I am humbled daily by the blessings he has granted me and try to wait in anticipation of what is around the next corner.

Back in February of this year, I did alot of research (unusual for me!) on a new desk for my office. Long story short, I looked at hundreds of desks online until I found the perfect one that would fit in my office. So I ordered it. Simple, right? Yeah, right up to the time that I found out it was “imported” and that it was delayed 5, yes 5, times before it finally shipped and I received it in July. So at the busiest time possible in my job, I took delivery of my new desk and decided it was time to clean and organize my office. I will mention that I had been feeling challenged with juggling alot of projects in the air and had almost decided that my life was meant to be chaotic this year. As I called upon a few years of experience at realigning my own world and I waded through all the “stuff” currently on my plate, I asked myself if my world was crazy, who’s in charge of that? If things were spinning out of control and I was struggling to get my legs beneath me, who controlled that? Well, the answer was me.

I took a giant step back and assumed a high-level view of what I had on my plate, what areas I really needed to be involved in and what things I could shift to other, very capable Managers and started making a list. I also thought about what dots could be connected for our company that would provide the biggest return for our customers and whether we were leveraging all of our resources towards helping our customers in the most ways possible. What I soon realized was that by taking a deep breath and steadying myself in the fast-moving rapids of never-ending deadlines, problem solving and everyday issues I had enabled myself to gain some perspective that only a couple weeks before had been missing. Had my work load changed? Not really. Had the deadlines moved? Nope. Was there fewer issues to deal with? Not by a long shot. However, the manner in which I approached those things had shifted. I had prayed for God to provide wisdom and direction and to help me become “less busy” and to work smarter not harder and somehow that perspective had been gifted to me over a period of 10-14 days.

On the heels of that tremendous adjustment to how I had been approaching my job, I had been invited to attend a seminar at which Chester Elton, affectionately referred to as the Apostle of Appreciation, was going to speak. He has co-written The Carrot Principle, The Orange Revolution and his newest book All In and if you have never heard him speak OR read one of his books, I would encourage you to do so. It was one of the MOST amazing days I have spent at a seminar EVER! Lots of down to earth ways to connect with people, both professionally and personally, artfully illustrated with stories, videos and resources that can be easily applied straight out of the gate. And boy was I excited to share all I had learned that day! I warned everybody that I might be a little hard to take for awhile.

Then immediately following the seminar by Chester Elton, our church that I love with all my heart James River Assembly hosts a women’s conference each year Designed for Life and I attended a 3-day event there. Priscilla Shirer, Dianne Wilson, Christine Caine and our own beloved Debbie Lindell all spoke at the conference and, as usual, it was LIFE-CHANGING! And talk about layering over the top on the very things I had just spent the last couple of months reviewing and managing….everything just helped me gain even better footing in those rapids I was describing earlier and really solidified in my mind that I was on the right path and spending time on the things I was supposed to. You know how sometimes we ask God if we are really committed to the things we’re supposed to be? Well, I’ve had those moments too and this wasn’t one of them. I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing and where.

So, because I know I’m going to be a little hard to put up with over the next few months as I try and put in words all the things I have running around in my head, I’ll apologize now and get it over with. And if you want to hear a truly remarkable story about a life that has been transformed, do some research on Brian “Head” Welch, former member of the heavy-metal band Korn. His new website can be found by clicking here.

More to come!!!

Patient and Kind

Wise words for someone like me

Category Archives: Life experiences