Stephanie Johnson IS Solution Focused

Posted on October 6, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

I referenced a site about a year ago that I ran across which really resonated with me. It belongs to Stephanie Johnson and can be found at SolutionFocusedCounselling.com. Below is an excerpt from some of her information and I have taken the liberty of adding a period or numbering the list due to some formatting issues on my end when I copied and pasted it. (Stephanie, I hope you will forgive me!) It is also very meaningful to me that Stephanie is a Believer and follows some fundamental teachings laid out by the guidance provided by our Heavenly Father. From Stephanie’s book:

Basic assumptions about people and problems

The following are some of the assumptions and principles of solution focused framework which was influenced by Milton Erickson and the MRI team.

1. People operate out of their internal maps and not out of sensory experience.

2. People make the best choice for themselves at any given moment.

3. The explanation, theory, or metaphor used to relate facts about a person is not the person.

4. Respect all messages from the client.

5. Teach choice; never attempt to take choice away.

6. The resources the client needs lie within his or her own personal history.

7. Meet the client at his or her model of the world.

8. The person with the most flexibility or choice will be the controlling element in the system.

9. A person can’t not communicate.

10. If it’s hard work, reduce it down.

11. Outcomes are determined at the psychological level. (Lankton and Lankton, 1983)

12. Do not need to know the cause of the problem in order to find solutions. (Love This!)

13. Client is the expert in their own life.

14. People become problem saturated and lose their problem solving abilities.

15. People have strengths and resources within themselves to find solutions.

16. We do not need to go back to the past in order to influence the future.

17. The problem is the problem, the person is not the problem.

18. Change is inevitable. Small change leads to larger change.

19. Problems continue when you apply the wrong solution.

20. People in general are doing the best that they can.

21. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it doesn’t work, try something different.

22. Once you know what works, do more of it, (Cade, 2007)

The above are the assumptions about people and problems. In some respects it at first appears a simple formula, however the art in solution focused is the timing of interventions and techniques such as the miracle question, and for the counsellor not to get caught up in the problem talk, but move the conversation towards solution focused talk. I don’t know about you, but when I came across these principles it was very liberating as a counsellor to feel that I am not the expert in the client’s life, but a bystander and a facilitator. I found this exciting.

The client is the expert in their own life and we facilitate the process. Solution focused is at the opposite spectrum to psychoanalysis. Solution focused believes that you do not need to go back to childhood or hunt for the root cause of the problem in order to facilitate change. For some clients this is reassuring. Some clients find solution focused to be empowering and hopeful.

In 15 years of experiencing solution focused talk, the word HOPE comes to mind. Having said that solution focused does not have to go back to childhood to find the root cause of this problem is true, however as solution focused is client directed, if the client feels that it is necessary then the therapist will go there. However if the client is looking for analysis and treatment, then they have the wrong therapist.

In my practice I start where the client is at. I used whatever is useful to the client to facilitate change, as this is what it is all about, CHANGE.

What to know more? See Stephanie Johnson’s E-book, available here on line at Solution focused counselling.com, called Solution focused counselling…Keeping it Real, The art of helpful conversations. Only $14.99 Aud.

References:

Cade, B. W. (2007) Springs, Streams and Tributaries: A History of The Brief, Solution-focused Approach. In F. N. Thomas & T. Nelson (Eds) Clinical Applications of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. New York: The Haworth Press.

Lankton, S. and Lankton, C. (1983) The Answer Within: A Clinical Framework of Ericksonian Hypnotherapy. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Be the Revolution!

Posted on September 29, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

While I definitely didn’t intend for my blog to be (always) gushing about James River Assembly, the church I attend in Ozark, Missouri, I can also share that sometimes you just know when certain things are inserted into your life and this church continues to breathe influence into my life that couldn’t be more well timed. We just finished the 9th annual Designed For Life Women’s Conference and it was AMAZING! We heard from Charlotte Gambill who leads Life Church in England, John & Helen Burns, who started Victory Christian Centre (now known as Relate Church in Surrey, British Columbia, Canada), Nancy Alcorn of Mercy Ministries, Donna Crouch of Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia, Marilyn Skinner of Watoto Church in Kampala, Uganda in Africa and Debbie Lindell of James River Women, a ministry under the umbrella of James River Assembly.

Every single message contained life-giving words….God-inspired truths that resonated across the hearts of the 5,500 women who were there. We heard:

That God is looking for movement through us.
You have to choose your position in life AND your disposition in life.
That the best part of life is who you get to do it with.
That some of the greatest pain in the world stems from “Dad” issues. That every child is born connected to Mom but their self-identity and strength comes from their Dad.
That everything we need to live a full and abundant life is already in us in seed form. It takes the Holy Spirit to water and fertilize each individual seed to help us have a life that flourishes that can then feed others.
If our children had to live on the power of our words, would they be able to? A person’s childhood is the reference point of their life. We must take responsibility for the atmosphere in our homes.
Time is the currency of life. (LOVE this one!)
Relationships should be based on commitment not convenience.
Pressure has a way of revealing exactly who and what we are made of.

I was especially excited about Project 12, which is an initiative to help encourage and inspire us to make a difference in the lives of others around us. We have been talking at work alot about this same type of focus for helping people around us and this will help us take it to the next level. The fundamental belief is that if we Impact ONE person in our community we will make a difference in the WORLD. I love the following quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson….

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882); Philosopher, Poet, Author, Essayist

It goes without saying that I simply can’t wait for next year’s DFL Conference which is being held at JQH Arena in Springfield, Missouri. Debbie’s goal is to have 10,000 girls there and given the revolutionary hearts that her conference sparked this year, I would guess that she will hit that mark!

Ephesians 3:20-21

²⁰Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Critical Thinker

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

Viewing the world through the eyes of our children takes a very focused approach. My entire life I have been teased about being gullible which I easily translated into “open minded”. I have been told I was overly optimistic which I easily translated into “openly optimistic”. I have been chastised for being naive which I easily translated into “keeping a fresh perspective”. While I have benefited from hundreds of life experiences, all which have hopefully made me a little more wise, I can honestly say that I hope I never lose the ability to be an open minded, optimistic person who works hard at keeping my perspective fresh.

Recently, I picked up Jacob, our 11 year old, from school and on the way home we had his favorite radio station playing. He loves music and we love that he loves music. Normally on the way to and from school, he is allowed to be the car DJ. When a song came on from Justin Timberlake’s new album, Jacob chimed in that some of the kids at school were saying bad things about him up to and including that he was “gay”. I asked him why they would say that and he said because his voice is so high. I told Jacob that JT has always been a tremendous performer and is extremely talented and that the kids at school just didn’t understand that some people are just gifted with different ranges of voices when they sing. I told him that he has been wildly successful and always seemed to me to have his life pretty well put together. I told him that I thought he had just married his girlfriend of 4-5 years, Jessica Biel, and that she was beautiful and talented as well. I promised that I would show him a picture of their wedding day. None of that is to say that I know anything at all about Justin Timberlake’s personal life or have insight into his life choices. It just rubbed me wrong that people, even children, would be so quick to pass judgment on someone that they knew literally nothing about.

It was all too easy for me to wonder what in the world those kids were thinking in saying those type of things when it occurred to me that they had to have heard it somewhere. Children are the great “repeaters” and we learn our behaviors from those we watch. It made me sad. I wondered if any of the children at school have that same voice with a beautifully high range when they sing and if the other kids are unkind toward them causing them to never truly pursue what might be a JT inspired career? I can’t speak for anyone else’s children but I can certainly try and have influence over ours. As adults, do we really wonder where our children pick up being critically-minded? Where every thought is geared towards tearing people down, finding fault or judging them based on some stereotyped image?

That reminded me of a video that I saw during a presentation given by Chester Elton, author of The Carrot Principle, Orange Revolution, and All In among a couple others that I think have come out. It was the Battle at Kruger and you really have to watch the video to fully appreciate the points that Chester Elton made during his discussion. It is a riveting, true story about a herd of buffalo, a pride of lions and one really big crocodile all coming together on the shores of a waterhole located in Kruger National Park, South Africa. The parable is whether, in life, we choose to be a lion or a crocodile whose only purpose is to prey on others, constantly dragging them down or to be a tourist on the sideline and simply watch or to be a buffalo who come together in the herd in support of one another and run to the rescue of one less traveled, less experienced young buffalo. It is 8 minutes of a life-long story that you simply can’t stop watching until the very end.

Our role as believers should be to stand up for the less fortunate, even when they don’t always look like us, sound like us or believe in the same things we do. It’s easy to be nice when things are “calm at the watering hole”. Do we strive to be equally nice and supportive to those around us when things aren’t looking so good on the banks of where we get a drink and our thirst is high? Do we become less diligent with regard to seeing others as Jesus sees us….with unconditional love and an unending forgiveness for things that we haven’t even done yet? Or do we immediately jump in to tarnish others’ perspectives, making them think and believe the worst, standing on the shoulders of others to make ourselves seem bigger and better in comparison? We all struggle with those feelings, wanting that hint of superiority, seeking dominance, and appearing all-wise. And I think we all know, none of those feelings are from God.

I recently shared with my husband how fortunate my sister and I were to have our Grandfather in our lives when we were growing up. I told Steve that when I was with my Grandfather, he always made me feel like I was amazing. So I tried with everything I was to be amazing. He had a way of helping you see things with regard to possibilities instead of hindrances. A knack of asking you to stretch yourself and put yourself in your “neighbor’s shoes” and giving them the benefit of the doubt. I told Ashley just the other day when we were talking about somebody that she had encountered that was not very pleasant to interract with that she had no idea what that person was dealing with that day. Maybe she just lost her child….or found out she had cancer…..or who’s husband was abusive. We have no idea what is going on in other people’s lives. We are tasked with being a place of encouragement for those we come in contact with, even when they are in over their heads, come from a different walk of life than what we are familiar with, or sometimes aren’t deserving in our opinion.

You can oftentimes tell when your quiet, kind words find their way in to the heart of your child. You can see the knowledge soak into them and settle softly in their heart. You can see the truth become a small gift that they store safely away. And you know down to your depths that when it really matters, they will bring it back out to share with some one else. Those are the moments that inspired me in the first place to start this blog. Patient and Kind…just like the Lord and my Savior has always been to me.

My Prayer today

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Tammy Johnson

My Heavenly Father,

Help me recognize and be thankful for the little things. Thank you for every detail of my life – all of them combined is what brought me to this place with you by my side.

Thank you for sending your Son to die for me. Thank you for wanting to be with me. The longing that I had for children and family, to know them, watch them grow, be involved in their lives and to see them be AMAZING must be only a fraction of what you want for me. I am humbled by that.

I continue to see that what the enemy intended for evil in my life you turned into good. You have always been there to take care of me, even when I was unaware.

Help me to be a reflection of your grace and goodness. Help me to understand that sometimes what I think is all about me is more about breathing influence into the lives of others – please don’t let me miss those opportunities.

I have prayed for wisdom and health my entire life, to have discernment and to be what you intended me to be. Your ever-loving, gracious hand has been holding mine for as long as I can remember. I am thankful to have been born into a time and place where I can openly express my love and praise for you.

I am thankful for your grace and mercy, for providing me a family who I fiercely love and who loves me in return. I am thankful for the doors of my life that you continue to open. May the most recent one be an avenue for my sister and I to quietly help administer a healing in our family that only you are capable of.

All of this I ask in your holy name,

Amen

Grandpa only said things one time

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

I know I’ve mentioned before that my Grandfather was a very wise man. I was talking once with my Uncle Roger about them spending time together and what a great listener Grandpa was. We were both reminiscing and then laughed together because sometimes it was what Grandpa DIDN’T say that made you think the most about something. I took every opportunity to pour my gullible young heart out to him always looking for him to help me make sense of all the tumultuous thoughts that plague an adolescent perspective. And I can’t remember him ever telling me what exactly to do. What I do remember is him always asking the simplest questions which were followed up by “what do you think you should do” and then he would help me work through that thought process. Many times what I thought should be the solution was really just a way for me to talk through something that had no foothold in anything remotely resembling patient and kind. My Grandpa had a way of drawing those things out of you without you even realizing what he was up to.

I can remember that feeling of anxiety when I had something very important to tell him…it was burning a hole in my heart but I had learned to hold onto that until the right moment presented itself. I wanted his full attention and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would always grant me that. It’s funny because the thought never crossed my mind whether he would make time for me or be willing to listen to what was on my heart and mind. I just always knew he would be there.

I also find it interesting that I had a much different relationship with our Grandmother. I can remember some of the conversations with her and how hard I think she tried to understand where Tina and I were coming from. In hindsight I think she struggled to keep an open mind about things and I don’t know if this stemmed from her own upbringing, losing a daughter (our mom) or maybe simply a generation gap between us although I never felt that way about our Grandfather. What I do know is that where Grandma would jump in the middle of your situation and tell you exactly what she thought you should do and you knew it would go badly if you didn’t choose that route, Grandpa was the exact opposite. I don’t know that I ever heard “I told you so” come out of his mouth. I did hear him say “so how did that feel” once or twice but it always felt like there was love and concern behind that….like he didn’t want us to forget a certain feeling because it just might help us make better decisions going forward.

My husband has often asked me over our life together (26 years in January – 23 of those married) if I have anything in my past I would change. While hindsight is definitely full of all kinds of insight, I always tell him that I wish I had handled a few things differently but wouldn’t necessarily change them. I honestly feel that if I had changed even one thing, I may not be where I’m at today and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. I think I’ve watched too many movies having to do with a person being given a chance to go back and relive or redo their past and they always regret that it changes where they are in the future (Mr. Destiny with Jim Belushi for example). My Grandfather always told us that each of us should try and make the best decisions we can at the time using the information we have. While it is up to us to be the best gatherers of information we can, he also told us stories of people who’s lives were filled with regret and second-guessing every area of their life until they were consumed with it. Life held no other purpose for them except to reflect on all the mistakes that had been made along the way. Out of all the things I learned from him, that was one of the life lessons I really took to heart. I do not want that to be me.

So, when I find myself wanting to repeat things over and over to our children hoping that maybe if I say it differently (or louder) than I did before it will increase the chance they will hear me this time, I remember my Grandfather’s wisdom of dropping those simple words of thought-provoking questions and remain quiet trusting that we have pretty smart kids who will probably end up figuring things out on their own kind of like we did.

Strength more abundantly

Posted on October 31, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

I think if you asked people who know me, they would say that I’ve always been an independent thinker. My sister used to tell me that I never seemed to have any issue with expressing my opinion, even to our Grandparents. I told her that at some point I just realized that instead of seeking their approval (especially my Grandmother’s) I had to start being okay with thinking or doing things that she may not have agreed with at the time. I had always prayed for God to help me keep a good moral center and as long as my conscience didn’t start screaming at me whenever I did something, I knew I was probably on the right path. Many years ago, I even had an owner I worked for ask me if there was anything out there that I didn’t have an opinion on. I told him that I didn’t think so which made him bust out laughing. He knew that if he asked me how I felt about something, I was probably going to tell him what I thought. What I have gotten better at is hopefully framing up what I’m saying so it doesn’t sound quite so shocking sometimes.

Over ten years ago, while working for Carlson Managed Hotels, they held a GM Conference and a portion of that meeting was allocated to a book called Now, Discover Your Strengths written by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. This was a revolutionary book for me and has been a significant part of the tools I use when building teams within any management role I have served in. It focuses on identifying a person’s top 5 strengths and basically says that we are all hard-wired a certain way and that we should spend our time increasing our aptitudes in those areas instead of trying to work on things we are never going to be good at. When sharing these with the team I work with at Branson Tourism Center, I told them that taking the time to understand how people communicate and process information is well worth it when you are trying to connect their efforts towards a common goal. My profile includes Strength themes such as Arranger, Individualization, Relator, Maximizer and Responsibility. What this means in a nutshell is that I thrive in chaos, love every quirky aspect of each person I come in contact with, will talk your leg off if you’ll let me (because it’s important to me that you understand all the various components!), will work until I drop and have no more to give and I take ownership of all of that without batting an eye. The first time I took the StrengthsFinder survey, I was amazed at how accurately some of these themes described me. As I have watched roughly 70-80 people go through this survey, I can honestly say that there have been as many lessons for me as for them in watching them grow as leaders. The moment that these things finally click and they realize that they really do “own” their own success is life-changing! And it’s so funny because it is never the things they think it’s going to be that distinguishes them from everybody else. Being willing to serve others is truly the key to great leadership.

I found myself sharing the following sentiment with our Manager team: “I openly admit that I have control issues. Because I am determined that no one is going to steal my joy!” You could see the words almost hang in the air as the Managers tried to decide if they really had control over that. I assured them that they most certainly do. I was talking to my sister a few weeks ago and she always has such wise words for me that oftentimes apply to whatever is going on. She commented that we cannot allow our circumstances to influence the joy that we find in life. We are in charge of our own joy. Finding joy even in the midst of chaos is where our own emotions leave off and our love for Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father picks up. And that is a discipline that we can only fine-tune if we remain focused on Him.

I had a conversation with someone this past week that included dialogue about spending time with things that influence us. I interact with alot of people on a daily and weekly basis and it never ceases to amaze me that people who spend time focused on things that are such a negative influence in their life (gossip/drama, partying, etc.) allow those very things to steer them away from the things that they always said they wanted. Then they wake up one day and wonder how they got to the spot where nothing in life seems to be enough to fill the void that they feel every day. You have to wonder if their life has a motive? Do they recognize their own lack of purpose?

Even when things are at their craziest, all I have to do is reach a little deeper inside myself and find the joy that resides in my heart. I am so grateful that it never leaves me and I cherish it and know where it comes from. As it is written in Romans 5:1-5, we have been justified by faith, and our peace is provided through our Lord Jesus Christ and we should rejoice in our difficult times since those produce perseverance; perseverance produces character and character produces hope. And as stated in Romans 15:13, God’s desire is to fill us with the joy and peace of believing and that through the power of the Holy Spirit we can have an abundance of hope. His desire is for us to have a better life than we could have ever dreamed of. John 10:10 refers to Jesus being the shepherd to the sheep and that his desire is for us to have an abundant life. So I pray for an abundance of joy, discernment, health, wisdom, and of course, patience and kindness.

Where I came from

Posted on October 20, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

Over the years, I have witnessed varying degrees of people who are phenomenally talented and have SO much potential who end up getting sidetracked one way or another from their intended purpose in life. Many times this is a result of personal circumstances (life just won’t give them a break) or sometimes it is the result of ego or a slanted perspective getting in the way. Have you ever met that person who viewed life through a lense that was “what’s in it for me?” Me too.

I hope nobody misunderstands….we all struggle with ego. We want to make a difference, we want to be held in high regard, we want to be noticed. I’m particularly talking about those times when we purposely position ourselves above those around us. In addition to trying to determine the best way for us to be recognized, we make comments or do things that reflect badly on those around us so that we appear greater or better in comparison. We’ve all done it….me too.

One thing I’ve always been since I was very little was a good observer. Just ask my sister. I told her that I often avoided some of life’s misguided missteps simply by sitting back and watching her navigate things first. Tina, I watched way closer than you ever wanted but learned way more than you could have ever hoped for. You’re my hero. :^)

I started working before child labor laws really took effect, somewhere around the age of 11, and my first job was working at a small motel where I cleaned rooms for $3.35 per hour. My personal goal each summer was to put $1,000 in my savings account and whatever was left over was mine to spend. I paid $3.00 per day for the opportunity to carpool with my Grandmother and some of her friends who also worked in the same vicinity I did and I don’t remember Grandma ever letting me slide by not paying my fair share. And I was so thankful to have the opportunity to ride along and work and earn my own money that I don’t remember ever grumbling about that or thinking that I was entitled to that ride. Even when my Grandmother drove.

The pride that I took in my job ran pretty deep. Tina and I both have our Grandparents to thank for that…they were both hard workers and humble about what they had. And we didn’t have overly much. We started out cleaning rooms and we went to work every day during the summer and vowed to do the best job we could on each day. Oh sure, we entertained ourselves along the way to make the day go faster (those stories I’ll save for another day) but our focus was to produce the cleanest rooms we possibly could for the paying guests of the place where we worked. When we dipped ice cream for the summer, we served lots of customers, tried to never leave sidework for the next shift and worked hard at doing it with a smile. That was much easier for Tina than me. I was always the more direct, less tactful side of the equation if things hit me wrong. I know, I know….hard to believe.

I can remember watching history of the Bible shows that featured individuals like David slaying Goliath and Moses leading the people out of Egypt and Sampson being enamored with Delilah. I can also remember praying and wishing my entire life for God to give me wisdom (like he did with Solomon) and health rather than anything else. Yes, anything else. I asked to be content if I had enough money to pay the bills and to be patient if that was ever a struggle somewhere along the way. I didn’t need lots of money or things, my one and only desire was that God would not ever allow me to forget where I came from. In my whispered prayers to him, I have always asked for discernment and to allow me to have more time with my husband and children than what my mother did with Tina and me. Probably not a fair request but it didn’t stop me from making it. That struck the balance between being bold as I approached the throne and attempting to leave it up to God to determine what was best for me and those around me. And I still ask for that today.

As I’ve gotten older and have been so blessed along the way I continue to ask God to please not ever let me forget where I came from. Don’t let me ever forget the satisfied feeling I always had when I sat on our sofa by our grandfather. He had a way of projecting contentment, I don’t know how he did that exactly but I was always at peace when I was with him. I don’t want to ever forget the feeling I had when I fully realized just how much our Grandparents had given up in their lives to raise Tina and I. I have never forgotten that humbling feeling you get on your first day at a new job or the amazing feeling of knowing I had worked hard and received that very first paycheck. I remember the painful lessons of saying things out of hurt and anger and knowing I could never get those words back. Those words changed some of those relationships for the rest of my life. I also remember the feeling of doing small acts of unexpected kindness for someone and the warmth that generated for my soul. I love watching someone’s reaction when they know they have done something to hurt you and you respond by being kind. Or when the Holy Spirit provides wise feedback for you to convey to your children (because you’re about ready to run screaming from the room). The look of understanding and acceptance on their faces when they realize that your love really is unconditional and that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are amazing and that your life experiences are their’s to learn from.

I don’t ever want to forget where I came from. My sister shared a video with me by Louie Giglio – Indescribable and it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen or heard. If you haven’t heard Louie Giglio’s series, you need to watch them as soon as possible. Whether you are a believer in God or not, the science behind his messages is mind-blowing. I was spending the afternoon with Donna, my hairdresser at Main Street Salon, and she was sharing that Louie had a second video called How Great is Our God and I watched that too! I didn’t think I could be more blown away than what I was on Indescribable but I was wrong. I’m not going to give away the points in there that are irrefutable and the commonalities that, if you’re not a believer, will make you question what took you so long to hear this. I actually went and bought his entire video series and can’t wait to watch the whole thing. He is a science-geek and the way he frames up the information from a scientific perspective helps close that gap between feeling like we have to choose between believing that God is our creator and that life was created from a big bang that didn’t somehow involve divine intervention.

I don’t ever want to forget that I belong to God. I don’t want to ever take my eye off the fact that he has me here for a purpose, that I was created to serve him and to help others to get to know him. That I will remain focused on the things that have eternal meaning and not so much on the rest of the “stuff”. That God will continue to keep his steady hand on me and remind me daily to be Patient and Kind.

The Indian Story

Posted on August 4, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

One of the most challenging things I’ve tried to wrap my mind around over the years has been the fundamental principal of the whole “being saved” thing. Our 3-dimensional brains cannot begin to comprehend things beyond a certain point so what information we can’t process we tend to dismiss or deny. The really big thinkers, the scientific patent-writing life-altering inventors, the master innovators of all time have probably had the mental aptitude to understand some of these more cosmic, spiritual things but many times veer off the path of truly big God-size breakthroughs because of their inability to believe that at the end of things there is such an uncondiitonal love just waiting for them…..all they have to do is ask for it. Somehow, that’s just way too simple.

I am an avid reader, these days I mostly enjoy material that makes me think about where my life is going, am I striving to be a better person, what things should I be incorporating into who I am growing into so that God’s influence is reflected in my life (but I don’t want to be preachy either). I have seen more people steer clear of Christianity because they had someone “preachy” just talking at them all the time or trying to convict them about right vs. wrong, heaven vs. hell, church vs. no church, etc. etc. That is the biggest turn-off ever, in my opinion. Nothing about how Jesus conducted himself lends merit to anybody acting that way. Of course, that gets us back to the matter of what is that Jesus thing all about anyway?

One of the best stories I’ve ever heard helped me understand the reasons behind why Jesus was sent to us. First, we have to agree upon some simple truths like there are laws that govern the earth and the universe. Not written laws but scientific laws, the law of gravity, physical body laws (for example how our bodies are made) and sometimes even unforeseen consequences stemming from “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. When thinking about the possibility of God laying down all of the earthly, heavenly and scientific laws and how mind-blowing all of that is, again our feeble brains try to comprehend how all of that might work and why.

On my way to work one day several years ago, I was listening to the Wind FM (88.3 here in southwest Missouri) and heard the following story which I am probably going to paraphrase alot so please bear with me. There was an Indian village where an entire tribe lived. At some point in time, several of the families started reporting that things were missing from their huts. This went on for some time and seemed to be getting worse with nobody being able to figure out who might be stealing things from the other families. Finally, after a period of time, the Indian Chief called a meeting of the entire tribe and announced that everyone should be on the lookout for the “thief” and when they were found, they would be whipped within an inch of their lives. His hope was that this announced punishment or consequence would deter anybody from stealing. Several days later, some of the highest members in the tribe came to the great Chief to let him know that they had caught the person responsible for stealing from the other families. The Chief commanded them to go and tie the thief to a pole in the center of the village and he would be there shortly to deliver the punishment. Several of the tribe members looked at the Chief and asked if he were sure that this is something he wanted to do. The Chief stated that everyone was very clear on what would happen if they were caught stealing and he had no choice but to follow through with the punishment. When the Chief arrived at the center of the village, no words could describe his shock when he saw that tied to the pole waiting for her punishment was his own stooped, beloved mother. Unable to gain his composure at such a heart-wrenching discovery, he brokenly announced the same punishment be carried out. However, he walked quietly over to the pole, gently untied his mother and asked that he be allowed to take her place instead. The Indian Chief received the whipping that was intended for his mother and he did this in order to fulfill the law that had been decreed as the consequence for her blatant crime.

The same as God clearly stated that death and eternal separation from him would be the consequence if Adam and Eve partook of the fruit from the Tree of Life. I don’t think that God did this to “hold them back” or keep them from having something that was really great, he knew in his infinite wisdom that their minds were not capable of processing all of the knowledge that came with eating that fruit. As a loving father, he had warned them about the tree, the one and only thing that he had withheld from them because he knew that the effects of eating that fruit would be a self-awareness (on all levels) that they were not ready for. And he gave them a consequence of what would happen if they disobeyed him. Very similar to raising our own children. Children thrive when there are guidelines, when things are put in place to keep them safe and feeling loved. And when they are disobedient, they should understand and expect consequences.

And even when presented with the fact that Adam and Eve had disobeyed him and eaten from the tree, God loved them and all of mankind so much that he found a way to not only follow through on the consequence of that one huge moment of disobedience but to ensure that we had a way to return to a relationship with him, one very similar to those first days when Adam and Eve walked with him in the Garden of Eden. He sent Jesus Christ, his very own spirit contained in a man’s body, to be punished in our place. He knew that Jesus would be offered up as the one to take the punishment originally intended for all of mankind yet rather than rush right to that after Jesus was born to Mary, God allowed Jesus to spend a reported 33 years of his life here with us providing an example for all of us to follow.

2 Corinthians 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

I think about the fact that one man’s actions delivered all of mankind into sin and one man’s sacrifice delivered all of us out of it. And yes, that is pretty mind-blowing if you ask me.

Here I go!

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Tammy Johnson

Have you ever had something laid on your heart that you knew you just had to do but really had no idea how to even begin? The Savior of my soul, the bright light for my life has, for whatever reason, decided to place a desire in my heart to start a blog. It seems when something has been decided by the creator of the universe, not too much gets in his way. (Lord, I pray that I will always reflect your heart and the infinite love you have for your people in my words and that you will allow an everlasting discernment in any message I unknowingly convey).

I am so thankful for the people in my life who support and encourage me….my husband who is the love of my life and who balances me perfectly, my children who are a delight to watch as they traipse through life determined to do it better and different than anybody else did, my sister and her husband who are the two most giving people I know and all of my friends at work who so graciously tolerate me while I’m reminding mostly myself to be Patient and Kind. What started as a need to share some thoughts outside of a Facebook forum then morphed into maybe doing a blog (did I even know what that really was?) which then got named “Patient and Kind” which then got tagged as an Org etc. etc.

Since this is my maiden voyage of postings, I am taking some liberties in how I communicate things since I can claim to not know any better (which I don’t at this point). For those of you that know me (and I mean KNOW me) you’ll understand and see my heart and recognize the deeply-rooted desire I have that your heart truly belongs to God. Only thru your personal relationship and belief in him will you secure a life with him in eternity. He desires only to be close to you, to help you thru the tough times and reassure you that his love is unconditional and steadfast. He made the greatest sacrifice that we could ever imagine in order to provide a place for us in heaven for all time. For those that have a distant view or opinion of me and who I am, I would only ask that you keep an open mind regarding anything that I post.

I’m sure I’ll learn as I go and ask for your prayers as I take on this adventure. There’s more to come, I can feel it.

Patient and Kind

Wise words for someone like me

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