Over the years, I have witnessed varying degrees of people who are phenomenally talented and have SO much potential who end up getting sidetracked one way or another from their intended purpose in life.  Many times this is a result of personal circumstances (life just won’t give them a break) or sometimes it is the result of ego or a slanted perspective getting in the way.  Have you ever met that person who viewed life through a lense that was “what’s in it for me?”  Me too.

I hope nobody misunderstands….we all struggle with ego.  We want to make a difference, we want to be held in high regard, we want to be noticed.  I’m particularly talking about those times when we purposely position ourselves above those around us.  In addition to trying to determine the best way for us to be recognized, we make comments or do things that reflect badly on those around us so that we appear greater or better in comparison.  We’ve all done it….me too.

One thing I’ve always been since I was very little was a good observer.  Just ask my sister.  I told her that I often avoided some of life’s misguided missteps simply by sitting back and watching her navigate things first.  Tina, I watched way closer than you ever wanted but learned way more than you could have ever hoped for.  You’re my hero.  :^)

I started working before child labor laws really took effect, somewhere around the age of 11, and my first job was working at a small motel where I cleaned rooms for $3.35 per hour.  My personal goal each summer was to put $1,000 in my savings account and whatever was left over was mine to spend.  I paid $3.00 per day for the opportunity to carpool with my Grandmother and some of her friends who also worked in the same vicinity I did and I don’t remember Grandma ever letting me slide by not paying my fair share.  And I was so thankful to have the opportunity to ride along and work and earn my own money that I don’t remember ever grumbling about that or thinking that I was entitled to that ride.  Even when my Grandmother drove.

The pride that I took in my job ran pretty deep.  Tina and I both have our Grandparents to thank for that…they were both hard workers and humble about what they had.  And we didn’t have overly much.  We started out cleaning rooms and we went to work every day during the summer and vowed to do the best job we could on each day.  Oh sure, we entertained ourselves along the way to make the day go faster (those stories I’ll save for another day) but our focus was to produce the cleanest rooms we possibly could for the paying guests of the place where we worked.  When we dipped ice cream for the summer, we served lots of customers, tried to never leave sidework for the next shift and worked hard at doing it with a smile.  That was much easier for Tina than me.  I was always the more direct, less tactful side of the equation if things hit me wrong.  I know, I know….hard to believe.

I can remember watching history of the Bible shows that featured individuals like David slaying Goliath and Moses leading the people out of Egypt and Sampson being enamored with Delilah.  I can also remember praying and wishing my entire life for God to give me wisdom (like he did with Solomon) and health rather than anything else.  Yes, anything else.  I asked to be content if I had enough money to pay the bills and to be patient if that was ever a struggle somewhere along the way.  I didn’t need lots of money or things, my one and only desire was that God would not ever allow me to forget where I came from.  In my whispered prayers to him, I have always asked for discernment and to allow me to have more time with my husband and children than what my mother did with Tina and me.  Probably not a fair request but it didn’t stop me from making it.  That struck the balance between being bold as I approached the throne and attempting to leave it up to God to determine what was best for me and those around me.  And I still ask for that today.

As I’ve gotten older and have been so blessed along the way I continue to ask God to please not ever let me forget where I came from.  Don’t let me ever forget the satisfied feeling I always had when I sat on our sofa by our grandfather.  He had a way of projecting contentment, I don’t know how he did that exactly but I was always at peace when I was with him.  I don’t want to ever forget the feeling I had when I fully realized just how much our Grandparents had given up in their lives to raise Tina and I.  I have never forgotten that humbling feeling you get on your first day at a new job or the amazing feeling of knowing I had worked hard and received that very first paycheck.  I remember the painful lessons of saying things out of hurt and anger and knowing I could never get those words back.  Those words changed some of those relationships for the rest of my life.  I also remember the feeling of doing small acts of unexpected kindness for someone and the warmth that generated for my soul.  I love watching someone’s reaction when they know they have done something to hurt you and you respond by being kind.  Or when the Holy Spirit provides wise feedback for you to convey to your children (because you’re about ready to run screaming from the room).  The look of understanding and acceptance on their faces when they realize that your love really is unconditional and that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are amazing and that your life experiences are their’s to learn from.

I don’t ever want to forget where I came from.  My sister shared a video with me by Louie Giglio – Indescribable and it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen or heard.  If you haven’t heard Louie Giglio’s series, you need to watch them as soon as possible.  Whether you are a believer in God or not, the science behind his messages is mind-blowing.  I was spending the afternoon with Donna, my hairdresser at Main Street Salon, and she was sharing that Louie had a second video called How Great is Our God and I watched that too!  I didn’t think I could be more blown away than what I was on Indescribable but I was wrong.  I’m not going to give away the points in there that are irrefutable and the commonalities that, if you’re not a believer, will make you question what took you so long to hear this.  I actually went and bought his entire video series and can’t wait to watch the whole thing.  He is a science-geek and the way he frames up the information from a scientific perspective helps close that gap between feeling like we have to choose between believing that God is our creator and that life was created from a big bang that didn’t somehow involve divine intervention.

I don’t ever want to forget that I belong to God.  I don’t want to ever take my eye off the fact that he has me here for a purpose, that I was created to serve him and to help others to get to know him.  That I will remain focused on the things that have eternal meaning and not so much on the rest of the “stuff”.  That God will continue to keep his steady hand on me and remind me daily to be Patient and Kind.